In a world swiping, scrolling, and bookmarking, true friendship has become a rare treasure. We collect acquaintances, save timestamps, and share memes—but the kind of friendship that transforms our souls? That’s almost endangered. In The Company We Keep: True Friendship and Why It Matters, Michael Pakaluk shows that friendship isn’t just optional—it’s essential.
1. Friendship with a purpose
Pakaluk argues that friendship grounded only in fun or convenience will fade when schedules shift, Instagram posts stop, or someone gets hurt. What lasts instead is friendship built on a shared goal—a higher one. “True friendship always points beyond itself,” he writes.
Practical tip: Ask your friend: “How can we help each other become more holy?” Schedule a 15-minute weekly check-in rooted in faith, not just catch-up.
2. Truth over approval
We live in a culture of follower counts and “likes,” but real friends aren’t afraid of the awkward talks. They care enough to speak truth when you’re drifting. Pakaluk draws from Aristotle, Thomas Aquinas, and Christian tradition to show how friendship is moral, spiritual, and deeply human.
Practical tip: Choose one friend this week and ask: “What’s one truth I need to hear?” Then listen—hard.
3. Presence over convenience
Real friendship requires showing up—not just in the highlight reel, but in the background silence. It means making space when life is messy, busy, and unfiltered.
Practical tip: Send a simple text: “I’m here. How can I pray for you this week?” Or drop off a coffee unexpectedly. The small, consistent acts build trust.
4. Anchored in Christ
Even the best earthly friendships can disappoint. That’s why Christ must be at the center. Pakaluk’s message invites us to root human relationships in our friendship with Jesus. When we grow closer to Him, we grow closer to each other.
Practical tip: Pray together once a month. Read a chapter of Pakaluk’s book or share a spiritual book with a friend and reflect together.
Why this matters now
We’re more connected—and more lonely—than ever before. Smartphones link us to thousands, but our worth still hinges on tags and reactions. Yet, what we really crave is someone who stands by us when the algorithm changes. Someone who loves us when “good performance” fails. The Company We Keep calls us back to friendship that lasts, grounded in truth, grounded in God.
Final takeaway
Friendship isn't just “nice to have.” It’s a key part of Christian life. Choosing your company wisely, speaking truth in love, showing up when it’s hard, and anchoring in Christ—these things make friendship enduring and holy.
Ready to cultivate those relationships?
Grab your copy of The Company We Keep and start building friendships that don’t just fit your schedule—but shape your soul.
Friendship isn’t just for sharing good times—it’s for walking toward heaven together. Make your company count.
